Genuine Answers

These are genuine answers (from 16-year-olds)..
. and yes, they will breed.
Q. Name the four seasons.
A. Salt, pepper, mustard and vinegar.
Q. Explain one of the processes by which water
can be made safe to drink.
A. Flirtation makes water safe to drink because
it removes large pollutants like grit, sand, dead
sheep and canoeists.
Q. How is dew formed?
A. The sun shines down on the leaves and
makes them perspire.
Q. What causes the tides in the oceans?
A. The tides are a fight between the earth and
the moon.
All water tends to flow towards the moon,
because there is no water on the moon, and
nature abhors a vacuum.
I forget where the sun joins the fight.
Q. What guarantees may a mortgage company
insist on?
A. If you are buying a house they will insist that
you are well endowed.
Q. In a democratic society, how important are
elections?
A. Very important.
Sex can only happen when a male gets an
election.
Q. What are steroids.
A. Things for keeping carpets still on the stairs.
(Shoot yourself now, there is little hope.)
Q. What happens to your body as you age?
A. When you get old, so do your bowels and you
get intercontinental.
Q. What happens to a boy when he reaches
puberty?
A. He says goodbye to his boyhood and looks
forward to his adultery.
(So true.)
Q. Name a major disease associated with
cigarettes.
A. Premature death.
Q. What is artificial insemination?
A. When the farmer does it to the bull instead of
the cow.
Q. How can you delay milk turning sour?
A. Keep it in the cow.
(Simple, but brilliant.)
Q. How are the main 20 parts of the body
categorised (e.g. the abdomen)?
A. The body is consisted into three parts - the
brainium, the borax and the abdominal cavity.
The brainium contains the brain, the borax
contains the heart and lungs and the abdominal
cavity contains the five bowels: A, E, I,O,U.
(WTF?)
Q. What is the fibula?
A. A small lie.
Q. What does 'varicose' mean?
A. Nearby.
(Asian answer!)
Q. What is the most common form of birth
control?
A. Most people prevent contraception by wearing
a condominium.
(That would work.)
Q. Give the meaning of the term 'Caesarean
Section'.
A. The Caesarean Section is a district in Rome.
Q. What is a seizure?
A. A Roman Emperor.
(Julius Seizure, I came, I saw, I had a fit).
Q. What is a terminal illness?
A. When you are sick at the airport.
(Irrefutable.)
Q. What does the word 'benign' mean?
A. Benign is what you will be after you be eight!!