These are genuine answers (from 16-year-olds)..
. and yes, they will breed.
Q. Name the four seasons.
A. Salt, pepper, mustard and vinegar.
Q. Explain one of the processes by which water
can be made safe to drink.
A. Flirtation makes water safe to drink because
it removes large pollutants like grit, sand, dead
sheep and canoeists.
Q. How is dew formed?
A. The sun shines down on the leaves and
makes them perspire.
Q. What causes the tides in the oceans?
A. The tides are a fight between the earth and
the moon.
All water tends to flow towards the moon,
because there is no water on the moon, and
nature abhors a vacuum.
I forget where the sun joins the fight.
Q. What guarantees may a mortgage company
insist on?
A. If you are buying a house they will insist that
you are well endowed.
Q. In a democratic society, how important are
elections?
A. Very important.
Sex can only happen when a male gets an
election.
Q. What are steroids.
A. Things for keeping carpets still on the stairs.
(Shoot yourself now, there is little hope.)
Q. What happens to your body as you age?
A. When you get old, so do your bowels and you
get intercontinental.
Q. What happens to a boy when he reaches
puberty?
A. He says goodbye to his boyhood and looks
forward to his adultery.
(So true.)
Q. Name a major disease associated with
cigarettes.
A. Premature death.
Q. What is artificial insemination?
A. When the farmer does it to the bull instead of
the cow.
Q. How can you delay milk turning sour?
A. Keep it in the cow.
(Simple, but brilliant.)
Q. How are the main 20 parts of the body
categorised (e.g. the abdomen)?
A. The body is consisted into three parts - the
brainium, the borax and the abdominal cavity.
The brainium contains the brain, the borax
contains the heart and lungs and the abdominal
cavity contains the five bowels: A, E, I,O,U.
(WTF?)
Q. What is the fibula?
A. A small lie.
Q. What does 'varicose' mean?
A. Nearby.
(Asian answer!)
Q. What is the most common form of birth
control?
A. Most people prevent contraception by wearing
a condominium.
(That would work.)
Q. Give the meaning of the term 'Caesarean
Section'.
A. The Caesarean Section is a district in Rome.
Q. What is a seizure?
A. A Roman Emperor.
(Julius Seizure, I came, I saw, I had a fit).
Q. What is a terminal illness?
A. When you are sick at the airport.
(Irrefutable.)
Q. What does the word 'benign' mean?
A. Benign is what you will be after you be eight!!

We say "Anything that's not mine will not come to me" and "Anything that's mine will come to me",do you know that we just use this phrase to delay and tie ourselves down.And most times we say this, we say it out of ignorance and even most people that say it are not ready to work towards their goal. Some precious stuffs are collected from some people and till they die they couldn't retrieve them just because they believed that anything that's theirs will come to them, and so they sat and waited for that thing that's theirs.
Most times we wonder,when we see people that are tattered,no destination,they roam around with no reason:is it that they were not born with purposes or they were born to be miserable?NO,they were born with purposes,talents,gifts,blessings and all,but the problem sometimes might be that the oppossing spirits might have tampered with their destiny and all,there is nothing impossible for God, if you know! . Mind you, no one is born without these things:Ephesians 1 vs3 says"Blessed be the God and father of our Lord Jesus Christ, who hath blessed "US" with all spiritual blessings in heavenly places in Christ",meaning that everyone is born with blessings and all. Most times when a man of God sees a vision concerning you that you are rich,successful and all,and at the end of everything you've been waiting for it and you got nothing:God's promises and words does not fail, you know what?When results did not happen,something stopped it, The fault is really coming from your personal self because your carelessness aborted it or you've not activated it(Your activation is very essential).But the major problem that we have is "Ignorance" as youths,in some cases the problem can be as a result of insufficient knowledge:most of us have knowledge about these things but they are not enough, and in another case most of us are not ready to work towards our wish and goal:this doesn't apply to some set of people,it applies to everyone. Everybody's vision about their future is that they are wealthy, successful and living large, but what kind of work are you doing towards this vision? Is it by sitting and waiting for what's meant for you?. We shouldn't just sit-down and wait for these things,we should learn to achieve our wish and goal don't just DREAM and SEE:work for the betterment of yourself.
People are rich and successful today,not because most of them know God but because all of them worked towards it:this is not an avenue for you to abandon God for work NO, he is the author of everything and he makes things happen remember Psalm 127:1 Says "Unless the lord builds a house,the work of the builder is useless. Unless the lord protects a city, guarding it with sentries will do no good" for it is useless for you to work so hard from early morning until late at night,anxiously working for food to eat:for only God gives rest to his loved ones meaning that you can't be successful without God's approval. Job's properties and everything was taken away and he got them back, on a normal basis the story of Job might just end by getting nothing in Return if he had sit and look but I sense that God wants us to learn by that, but why did he get them back? Because he worked for it and he got them back in folds wow' what a great significance!The work that we are talking about here can be anything depending on what you want for yourself.We say that anything that meant for us will come to us while most of us do not even know what's ours, most of us do not even have any knowledge about what we want or what's ours:many things that are not meant for you will come to you normally so how do you go about this when you do not even know what's meant for you, and you now settle for less,don't just accept anything that comes to you and say its your luck:well i am destined to be extremely great so i feel limited things should not be my luck, i dont know about you?. What kind of investment are making towards your future? Do you know that what you do now reveals some part of your future:which means that we build and invest on our future with our present state(Your today speaks more about your tomorrow) So you need to get the clearer vision of your future now
The problem now is that Young people have time but they lack knowledge and they are naive WHILE Old people do not have time anymore but they learn their lessons through pain, so now we have the advantage of knowledge and time. Believing that statement is just a waste of time and it will delay you because this statement will give you a restful heart, no choices than to wait, remember time is extremely important

Concluding this write up, the difference between you and those that are properous,rich and successful is "KNOWLEDGE" just be sensitive.Pursue what you know that's meant for you. The goal is not to condemn you or to mock you,the main mission of this article is to change your mentality and give you a real conviction to get you to work and i pray that the God of our Lord Jesus Christ,the father of glory,may give unto you the apirit of wisdom and revelation in the knowledge of him(AMEN).Note this:Several things will not just happen or work out normally,they need activation, most things don't happen on their own you need to bring them up.In all your work, prayer is the key, because it unlocks hidden things and even everything.You are created with treasures,just get to work for he has endowed you with splendor."WAKE UP AND MAKE UP"         
       

+ Prayerful preparation prevents poor performance.
+To be a scholar you must meet up with d requirements and follow ur dream.
+ Devotion - Determination - Discipline - Dominion. They can't be separated
+ Strive to succeed, don't strive to starve.
+ Pride is the pathway to defeat, it ushers in downfall.
+Believe :
- Believe in your ability.
- Believe in your self.
- Believe in your dream.
- Believe in God.
+ Faith leads to greatness.
+ 6hours rest keeps the brain active.
+ Flash back to the past and forget it.
+ Look forward to the future and work towards it.
+ An honorable loser is a respectable winner.
+ Failure is not the end of life, but a stepping stone to greatness.
+ We are all marketers in this world, sell well because we will all give account some day.
+ Place your trust in God alone.
+ Fake friends forgets you easily .
+ Success is not by force, it's a must.

It is a betrayal of trust for me to allow Thy gifts to sever me from Thee, my LORD, Who gives me all.

It is a betrayal of trust for me to make a name for myself out of the revelations You gave me in mercy and specifically for Thy Body. A thing I never laboured for; how can I claim credit for it, if not with a serious spirit of error, betraying the trust I hold of Thee?

It is a betrayal of trust for me to carve out a line of loyalists behind me, out of men You graciously led to me, for their portion of meat which You kept in my care.

It is a betrayal of trust for me to covet and camp on the popularity that ensues from the manifestation of Thy anointing upon my life, which anointing was freely given for the benefit and edification of Thy church.

It is a betrayal of trust for me to abandon the place of prayer where You opened doors for me to serve Your people, in pursuit of open doors, majoring on moving here and there, fussing up and down as a professional preacher who always has something to say whether or not God is speaking.

It is a betrayal of trust for me to treat with levity the counseling cases of brethren, not bearing them on my breastplate at the altars; though You introduced them to me, because You thought I would be a faithful priest.

It is a betrayal of trust for me to exploit Thy people, who out of want, but with loving and obedient hearts give of their substance, for my upkeep and the ministry of Thy word, by living lazily, riotously and carelessly in the pretext of prosperity.

It is a betrayal of trust for me to be heartlessly prayerless, concerning the state of the Church and yet come forward to speak elegantly about the plan of God for this age.

Standing in His presence is my primary call! Standing before men can only be secondary. And I cannot stand before men, if I have not first stood before God for them.

It is a betrayal of trust for me to stand before men for God, for whom I have not stood before God. It is mere hypocrisy.

Father, help me! Call me to order each time, lest I betray the trust I hold of Thee, in mercy, In Jesus Name. (Amen)!
PLEASE SHARE THIS POST AS MUCH AS YOU CAN

        A
      ACCEPT
      Accept others for
      who they are and
      for the choices they
      have made even if
      you have difficulty
      understanding their
      beliefs, motives
      or actions.

      B
      BREAK AWAY
      Break away from
      everything that
      stands in the way
      of what you hope
      to accomplish
      with your life.

          *C*
        ✍🏽
      *CREATE*
      Create a family
      of friends whom
      you can share your
      hopes, dreams,
      sorrows, and
      happiness together.

          *D*
        ✍🏽
      *DECIDE*
      Decide that you’ll be
      successful *&* happy
      come what may, and
      good things will find
      you. The roadblocks
      are only minor
      obstacles along
      the way.

          *E*
        ✍🏽
      *EXPLORE*
      Explore & experiment.
      The world has much
      to offer, and you
      have much to give.
      And every time you
      try something new,
      you’ll learn more
      about yourself.

          *F*
        ✍🏽
      *FORGIVE*
      Grudges only weigh
      you down and inspire
      unhappiness *&* grief.
      Soar above it, and
      remember that
      everyone makes
      mistakes.

          *G*
        ✍🏽
      *GROW*
      Leave the childhood
      monsters behind. They
      can no longer hurt you
      or stand in your way.

          *H*
         ✍🏽
       *HOPE*
      Hope for the best
      and never forget that
      anything is possible
      as long as you remain
      dedicated to the task.

          *I*
        ✍🏽
      *IGNORE*
      Ignore the negative
      voice inside your head.
      Focus instead on your
      goals and remember
      your accomplishments.
      Your past success is only
      a small inkling of what
      the future holds.

          *J*
        ✍🏽
      *JOURNEY*
      Journey to new worlds,
      new possibilities, is
      mostly by remaining
      open-minded.
      Try to learn something
      new every day and you
      will grow in Knowledge.

          *K*
        ✍🏽
      *KNOW*
      Know that no matter
      how bad things seem,
      to be they will always
      get better.
      The harshest Winter
      always follows the
      Warmth of Spring.

          *L*
        ✍🏽
      *LOVE*
      Let love fill your
      heart instead of hate.
      When hate is in your
      heart, there is *NO* room
      for anything else,
      but when love is in
      your heart, there’s
      room for endless
      happiness.

         *M*
        ✍🏽
      *MANAGE*
      Manage your time and
      your expenses wisely,
      and you’ll suffer less
      stress and worry.
      Then you’ll be able to
      focus on the important
      things in life.

         *N*
        ✍🏽
      *NOTICE*
      Never ignore the poor,
      infirm, helpless, weak,
      or suffering people.
      Offer your assistance
      when possible, and
      always your kindness
      and understanding.

         *O*
        ✍🏽
      *OPEN*
      Open your eyes and
      take in all the beauty
      around you.
      Even during the
      worst of times,
      there’s still much
      to be thankful for.

          *P*
        ✍🏽
       *PLAY*
      Never forget to have
      fun along the way.
      Success means nothing
      without happiness.

         *Q*
        ✍🏽
      *QUESTION*
      Ask many questions,
      because you are here
      to learn & be informed.

          *R*
        ✍🏽
      *RELAX*
      Refuse to let worry
      and stress rule your
      Life, and remember
      that things always
      have a way of working
      out in the end.

          *S*
        ✍🏽
      *SHARE*
      Share your talent,
      skills, knowledge,
      and time with others.
      Everything that you
      invest in others will
      return to you many
      times Multiplied.

           *T*
         ✍🏽
       *TRY*
      Even when your
      dreams seem
      impossible to reach,
      try anyway. You’ll be
      amazed by what you
      can accomplish.


          *U*
        ✍🏽
      *USE*
      Use your gifts to
      your best ability.
      Talent that is wasted
      has no value. Talent
      that is made into
      efforts will bring
      unexpected rewards.

           *V*
         ✍🏽
      *VALUE*
      Value the friends and
      family members who
      have supported and
      encouraged you *&* be
      there for them as well.

          *W*
         ✍🏽
      *WORK*
      Work hard every day
      to be the best person
      you aspire to be, but
      never feel guilty if you
      fall short of your goals.
      Every *sunrise* offers
      a second chance.

           *X*
         ✍🏽
      *X-RAY*
      Look deep inside the
      hearts of those around
      you and you will see
      the goodness and
      beauty within.

          *Y*
        ✍🏽
      *YIELD*
      Yield to commitment.
      If you stay on track
      and remain dedicated,
      you will find success
      at the end of the road.

           *Z*
   
✍🏽
      *ZOOM*
      Zoom to a happy
      place when bad
      memories or sorrow
      rears its ugly head.
      Let nothing interfere
      with your goals.
      Instead, focus on
      your abilities, in
      your dreams, and
      a brighter tomorrow.

Send this to the persons you care about.

 From a soul that cares.👏🌹❤🌺

According to a 19th century legend, the Truth and the Lie meet one day. The Lie says to the Truth: "It's a marvellous day today!" The Truth looks up to the skies and sighs, for the day was really beautiful. They spend a lot of time together, ultimately arriving beside a well.

The Lie tells the Truth: "The water is very nice, let's take a bath together!" The Truth, once again suspicious, tests the water and discovers that it indeed is very nice. They undress and start bathing.

Suddenly, the Lie comes out of the water, puts on the clothes of the Truth and runs away. The furious Truth comes out of the well and runs everywhere to find the Lie and to get her clothes back. The World, seeing the Truth naked, turns its gaze away, with contempt and rage.
The poor Truth returns to the well and disappears forever, hiding therein, its shame.

Since then, the Lie travels around the world, dressed as the Truth, satisfying the needs of society, because, the World, in any case, harbours no wish at all to meet the naked Truth.

Jean-Léon Gérôme, 1896.